Boy: (Wets himself and begins to cry)
Guy: That's okay. Sometimes I get the steps mixed up too.
-Simon Fraser University
Guy: That Motherfucking Cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
Cop: (On car's loudspeaker) I'm not a motherfucker.
- tailgating at baxter and milledge
Protestor: What do you think of abortion?
Guy: I'm a guy. I don't have an opinion.
Protestor: If you were forced to pick sides?
Guy: I'd say late term ones are OK.
Protestor: How late?
Guy: I'd say no later than after they are 20 years old.
(Protestor's jaw drop)
Guy: You don't know if they are worth a shit till they are like 18, then ya figure a year or 2 to decide if you want to keep them.
-Tate Center
(Teacher puts a giant photo of vagina on overhead)
Camera Phone: (click)
- Biology
Seven-year-old boy, turning to gaze at young woman's two-tone pumps: I want them shoes, man!
Mother, pulling him by the hand: Come along, Jake.
-Crotona Ave & Fordham Rd
A young girl to her parents at a look out at the Grand Canyon: When can we stop looking at this big hole in the ground?
-Grand Canyon
Guy 1: well, i wasn't really sure. I mean, it looked like a scab, and it felt like a scab.
Guy 2: Did it taste like a scab? Because that's how you know.
-college
Guy 1: That chick yesterday was so hot. What was her name?
Guy 2: John.
-college cafeteria
Guy 1: Half the pickles on my screen are fucked up.
Guy 2: Pickles?
Guy 1: Uh Pixels.
-High School Computer Lab
Guy 1: Dude, did you get a haircut?
Guy 2: Yeah, pretty drastic, more than three inches.
Guy 1: Kinda like my circumcision.
Guy 1: You're in love.
Guy 2: Shut up, no I'm not. You're in love too! I mean, not too. Shit.
