10 Funniest Overheard Convos

Guy (to a young boy outside a dorm): Is this a have-to-pee dance? Do you need to pee right now? Okay, wait, wait, wait, first we pull down our pants, and then we pee. First pants, then...
Boy: (Wets himself and begins to cry)
Guy: That's okay. Sometimes I get the steps mixed up too.

-Simon Fraser University





Guy: That Motherfucking Cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
Cop: (On car's loudspeaker) I'm not a motherfucker.

- tailgating at baxter and milledge





Protestor: What do you think of abortion?
Guy: I'm a guy. I don't have an opinion.
Protestor: If you were forced to pick sides?
Guy: I'd say late term ones are OK.
Protestor: How late?
Guy: I'd say no later than after they are 20 years old.
(Protestor's jaw drop)
Guy: You don't know if they are worth a shit till they are like 18, then ya figure a year or 2 to decide if you want to keep them.

-Tate Center





(Teacher puts a giant photo of vagina on overhead)
Camera Phone: (click)

- Biology





Seven-year-old boy, turning to gaze at young woman's two-tone pumps: I want them shoes, man!
Mother, pulling him by the hand: Come along, Jake.

-Crotona Ave & Fordham Rd





A young girl to her parents at a look out at the Grand Canyon: When can we stop looking at this big hole in the ground?

-Grand Canyon





Guy 1: well, i wasn't really sure. I mean, it looked like a scab, and it felt like a scab.
Guy 2: Did it taste like a scab? Because that's how you know.

-college








Guy 1: That chick yesterday was so hot. What was her name?
Guy 2: John.

-college cafeteria







Guy 1: Half the pickles on my screen are fucked up.
Guy 2: Pickles?
Guy 1: Uh Pixels.

-High School Computer Lab





Guy 1: Dude, did you get a haircut?
Guy 2: Yeah, pretty drastic, more than three inches.
Guy 1: Kinda like my circumcision.






Guy 1: You're in love.
Guy 2: Shut up, no I'm not. You're in love too! I mean, not too. Shit.