Sunday, May 2, 2010

25 Funny Ways To Describe Masturbation


  1. Taking the flute to band camp
  2. Stuffing the pink taco
  3. The five knuckle shuffle
  4. Petting My Little Pony
  5. Rub one out
  6. Cleaning out the cobwebs
  7. Yodel In the Canyon
  8. Turn the knob
  9. Tampering with the smoke detector
  10. Buffin’ the muffin
  11. Turning myself into a hand puppet
  12. Basting the turkey
  13. Practicing
  14. Self-service
  15. Flying solo
  16. Feeling slap happy
  17. Watering the flower
  18. Priming the pump
  19. All hands on deck
  20. Cure for boredom
  21. Tickle your fancy
  22. Thumb a ride
  23. Paddling the pink canoe
  24. Preheat the oven
  25. Staying in with BOB (battery operated boyfriend)































-written for giggles and lols-
Posted by at

18 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 5, 2010 at 6:45 PM

    you forgot spanking the bald monkey and giving the heimliek to the bald man

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 5, 2010 at 9:15 PM

    u forgot Massaging Your Third Foot

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 2:55 AM

    flicking your bean

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 3:33 AM

    you forgot waxing the dolphin

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 5:59 AM

    cleaning the pipes

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 8:03 AM

    bashing the bishop

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 9:06 AM

    pull the pudding

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 10:41 AM

    riding the unicycle

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 12:17 PM

    Churning the milk?

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    choking the chicken

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty and he said no. She
    asked him if he would want to be with her forever and he said no. She
    then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he
    replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away,tears
    streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and ...said... ... ... See ... See MoreMoreSee... See... See more... See More... See More ... See MoreMore... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See more... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More
    MoreSee... See More
    ... See MoreMore... ... See MoreSee More.... You're not pretty you're
    beautiful. I don'twant to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you
    forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die... ♥♥ ~~THE
    END~~♥♥.......Isn't that sweet? Tonight at midnight your true love
    will realize they like you. Something good will happen to you at
    1:00-4:00pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere on IM or email, outside of
    school,anywhere! Get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you
    break this chain letter you will be cursed with 10 relationship
    problemsforthe next ten years. If you post this to 15 pages in 15

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 2:08 PM

    polishing the rocket

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 4:37 PM

    TEST FIRING THE RAPE CANNON!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 5:59 PM

    girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty and he said no. She
    asked him if he would want to be with her forever and he said no. She
    then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he
    replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away,tears
    streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and ...said... ... ... See ... See MoreMoreSee... See... See more... See More... See More ... See MoreMore... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See more... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More
    MoreSee... See More
    ... See MoreMore... ... See MoreSee More.... You're not pretty you're
    beautiful. I don'twant to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you
    forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die... ♥♥ ~~THE
    END~~♥♥.......Isn't that sweet? Tonight at midnight your true love
    will realize they like you. Something good will happen to you at
    1:00-4:00pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere on IM or email, outside of
    school,anywhere! Get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you
    break this chain letter you will be cursed with 10 relationship
    problemsforthe next ten years. If you post this to 15 pages in 15

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 6:23 PM

    eating waffles

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 6:40 PM

    pulling ur pud lol

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 6:42 PM

    Some of these are in reference to sex, not masturbation...

    ReplyDelete
  18. amberMay 6, 2010 at 8:44 PM

    add me to see me naked

    ReplyDelete

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